When people feel threatened in any way, change is very difficult, which is why it is so important to me to create an environment of safety and acceptance. If anyone had walked through life in your shoes, they would fully understand how you got to where you are. Knowing this, there is no judgement. And from this place of understanding, the "work" has already begun.
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."
- Carl Rogers
I know everyone has value. And I delight in discovering with you, your unique flavour - some people already have a sense of what it is and, for others, it can be revelatory. You have managed to get this far somehow and you may not be aware of the skills and strengths you have developed along the way, which is another reason a trained guide can be helpful. This treasure hunt can be deeply affirming and empowering.
From the place of feeling more fully resourced, we will begin to discover the patterns and events that may be limiting your life experience. The patterns, events, and experiences are not who you are.
Within us is all the information we need for our liberation. We just have to know how to see and listen, which can be done much more easily and swiftly with someone who is trained and is able to see and hear.
Healing is about integration. Integration is required because we collect fragmented parts along our journey - events or experiences too much to digest at the time, specific coping strategies that once served a purpose but now limit our response options, and constricting patterns of being in the world (beliefs, thoughts, actions, perceptions) that prevent us from living our potential.
“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
- Jonathan Safran Foer
Whenever a person feels triggered, it relates to a past unprocessed event but we're typically not aware of that connection at the time - we get hijacked by the past but we tend to think it's only about what's happening in the present (and, it can happen over and over again). Tools can be learned for dealing with triggers but the deeper, more profound shifts happen when we trace things back to the root and address them at that level.
"Honestly, the work I've done with you has kind of been the final piece of the puzzle in terms of my mental and emotional well-being. Having the time and space to freely explore the emotional side of the issues that, intellectually I knew were problematic, was essentially what (finally!) made everything click. Even though it was obviously my goal to improve in the areas that we've been discussing, even I am astounded at how much progress I've been able to make, and I know it is in huge part due to your deft ability to unearth and focus on the important fears and stressors that have been hounding me for much of my life. By the same token, your willingness to move on from issues that aren't as salient, and intuition for allowing conversation to flow in an organic, non-judgmental, and incredibly comfortable way is hugely important, because, to be blunt, it's sort of an expensive amount of time, so it's great that it absolutely never feels wasted :D I really can't thank you enough for the help you've provided me."
- Matthew P.
Areas of specialization include (but not limited to):
In order to do so, it is important to garner the information that is held within all aspects of a person's being - body, mind, heart, and spirit (another level of integration). In my opinion, each therapeutic modality has value because it addresses at least one of these levels. And, to include all, when called for, leads to greater integration and a more fulsome sense of wholeness and freedom.
I weave several approaches into my work. I am a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, EMDR trained, experienced in hakomi, and utilize the internal family systems and interpersonal therapeutic approaches. Because fragmentation generally occurs in relationship, it is best healed in relationship. I personalize my approach to match the needs of the person before me and the issues we are addressing. I work with adults in Victoria, BC as well as over the phone and via online conferencing across Canada.
Goodness of fit matters. If you would like to speak to me to see if we might be a fit together, please don't hesitate to call. I trust your inner knowing.